The season is nearly a month old and it’s now fair to say we have a bit of a handle on what teams are up to and how their rosters are shaking out from some big off season additions or radical cost cutting depending on how much green is in the owners wallet. That means it’s time to play Back To The Lottery.
The Charlotte Bobcats are so bad I think they might want to check around Time Warner Cable Arena for Isiah Thomas because this stink job is very similar to New York. Hell, even Larry Brown is involved. The real difference is that Bob Johnson can’t afford the payroll he has, and they have zero talent to build around. When it’s rock paper scissors for who is your best player between Boris Diaw, Stephen Jackson and Gerald Wallace, your team is headed for the Lottery.
Detroit spent a lot of money bringing in Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva, and I think I’ve realized why. The real genius of Joe Dumars is that he signed a player in Charlie V who cannot easily show exasperation for Ben Gordon and Rip Hamilton taking a lot of shots. It’s hard to show exasperation without eyebrows. Detroit, welcome to the Lottery. We’ve missed you.
There is a lot of buzz around the league for Milwaukee’s surprising start to the 09/10 campaign and specifically prized rookie Brandon Jennings. But we’ve played nine games and that will wear thin as loss after loss piles up. When Ersan Ilyasova is starting for your team, it’s Lottery time.
Ahh New Jersey. The team with the shortest distance to travel to the Lottery is making sure to book their seat early with a 0-12 start to the season. Brook Lopez is the only bright spot for the Nets and this is the part where I’d normally make a joke about him killing someone on his team but there is enough news about NJ centers doing that at the moment so I’ll let that pass.
New York and their grand plan to lure Lebron in the Summer of 2010. Just the stench of this team is enough to keep Lebron away. Even seagulls won’t go near Madison Square Garden at the moment! And the worst part is they don’t even get to keep their own Lottery pick as it goes to Utah as the final piece in the Stephon Marbury trade. Ouch!
I’m pretty sure this is not what Sixers fans were thinking when their team followed up a surprising playoff appearance two years ago by winning the free agent sweepstakes and luring stud big man Elton Brand across the country. The countdown is on until we see Jrue Holiday get some serious court time. He is the lone bright spot in a very dark town.
Toronto need to make a splash this year. They sure are splashing the nets with some serious offense, but I’d suggest Bosh is gone by All Star Weekend as the team tries to get something for him.
There is more drama in Golden State than a fast forwarded episode of Gossip Girl. Average Jackson gone, Monta Ellis wants out, Anthony Randolph deserves to be traded to somewhere that appreciates him and Nellie is about to get the stupidest honorific in the world, “Most Winningest Coach”. Golf claps everyone. Golf claps.
The Clippers were everyones darlings in the off season with hushed talk of playoffs behind rookie standout Blake Griffin. But so far Blake has been outplayed by his brother Taylor and the Clippers look like, the Clippers. True masters of the Lottery.
Memphis. Oh Memphis. Like an eclipse I can’t stare directly at a Memphis game as I fear for my eyesight. I’ve built one of those little boxes with a pinhole in them to watch games as the roster is impressive in its collection of talent. But it doesn’t work. Bryant Reeves isn’t walking through that door people!
Minnesota are definitely going back to the Lottery. Maybe they can draft another few point guards.
This is possibly the most disappointing team in the league for me. A team with Chris Paul to be this bad takes some serious talent. A team with Chris Paul to be completely unwatchable I would have bet my house against. I’m hoping the A-Team kidnap him and move him to another team. He deserves it. We deserve it.
The Kings are off to a surprising start. Even more surprising given that Kevin Martin is out for a few months with a bum wrist. Tyreke Evens looks legit and Jason Thompson is making a legit push for an All Star spot. Doesn’t mean they won’t fade as the season goes on and be awful. Lottery bound all the way.
Ahh the Utah Jazz. I really hope Jerry Sloan’s swan song won’t be a team that has given up on him and ends up in the lottery but that’s how it’s looking in the early stages of the season. The only real subplot here is where and when they move Carlos Boozer.
